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Pardon the Dog Hair » Blog

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What a day

The last 24 hours has been a little ridiculous around here… and not in a good way.  I’m probably going to wonder into the “oversharing blogger” here in the next few minutes, but at least I’m not becoming the “oversharing facebooker.” Besides, this is my blog, and if I want to write about the ridiculous amount of poop Lizzie has produced in the last 12 hours, then I will.

(Wes, if you are reading, skip through the first couple paragraphs, I talk about poop).

So, to kick things off. Lizzie.  That dog has been going wild the last few days scratching.  My vet gave me some allergy pills that she can take to help alleviate this.  The last time she took the pills, she ended up wetting the bed.  I talked to my vet about it and he said that excessive peeing was a side effect and that if I cut the pill in half, she should be just fine.  Following his instructions to a T, I cut the pill in half and stuck it in a teaspoon of peanut butter to hide it from her oh so sensitive palate.  It seemed to work. Her crazy itching spells stopped and she was playing like a normal puppy.

That was until about 5 this morning. I woke up to the ever so pleasant smell of diarrhea.  I flipped on my lamp and looked at Lizzie who had a very shameful expression on her face.

Non-dog people won’t get this, but people who own a mischievous dog know exactly the face I am talking about.  Ya. That face. She also immediately crawled under the bed and hid.

I did a quick couple glances around my bedroom and found multiple large (very large) “stains” if you will.  Use your imagination.  Cleaning the floor and Lizzie’s bottom took about 45 minutes this morning. Awesome.  We had another bout with it right before I left for work. Fortunately it was not as severe. After a quick check at lunch, she seems to be on the mend. Praise the Lord.

Problem one dealt with. On to problem two.

Passport Canada. The pickiest people in the world. Yes, I am Canadian for those that don’t know and I need to get my passport renewed.  I completed the procedure 5 weeks ago and just got my application back. Denied. My photos had a slight shadow on them.  I am going to visit family (or supposed to be) in about 7 weeks.  A normal person would think “oh that’s plenty of time,” but not me. No. I have acquired my mother’s sense of worry.  Panic even.  First thing this morning, I got on the phone with the Canadian consulate and made them assure me that I would be fine. My application is back in the mail with perfect passport photos, as well as a short humorous note to Passport Canada, in hopes that they will feel sorry for me and process my passport quickly.  Problem two hopefully solved. Now problem three.

My GE Blender…not even a year old.  Just the other day I was singing the praises of my blender (yes, I am a kitchen nerd). It makes my green monsters absolutely perfect. I have been drinking about 5 of these a week, so the blender has seen increased action. However, it isn’t like I’m blending rocks, or even ice for that matter. The drink has a frozen banana in it, an occasional piece of ice, spinach, and some liquid. Somehow this was enough to cause it to break… today… in the middle of green monster making. Luckily, my kind mother who worries about me never getting married, thus never registering, has supplied me with more than enough blender like machines that I was able to successfully finish making my lunch. The ninja did a fine job. But, GE, you will be hearing from me soon.  And on to the last problem of the day, and perhaps the most serious.

See anything unusual in this picture?  I mean besides the dirt and garage sensors.

Welcome little black widow spider.  After doing a google search this morning for “black spider with red dot on stomach,” I came up with several horrifying images and taglines like “Extremely Venomous,” “Fatal,” “Run for your life…” etc.. ok maybe the last tag line was one I came up. Regardless, there is a freaking black widow living in my garage.  I’m not living in the desert or at some ranch, I live in a townhome in downtown Dallas. Where do these even come from?  Panic struck in this morning when I discovered it. Wes promises he will take care of it for me after work. He wants to first capture it and identify the species. Umm, what? I’m kind of concerned we might be making an emergency room visit tonight after this thing attacks him.

I’ve managed to find some humor in the majority of these situations, but I’m struggling with the last one.  Help!!!!

June 10, 2011 - 1:53 pm

lauren j - oh.my.
this was a sadistically entertaining blog post. not that I want bad things to happen to you, but you get the picture..? I can imagine the chaos. wow.
uh black widow!!!! WTF. contact some serious bug zappers. like yesterday.
hope lizzie is feeling better!

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